Manifesting

The phrasing goes something like, “you summoned that,” or the obvious, “we were just talking about them.” Regardless of who or what it is, you spent time thinking about something and now it is in front of you again. Whether a good, bad, or neutral thing, how do you react to that? Do you think of it as a sign? Do you let it pass like any other countless coincidence?

These aren’t rhetorical questions—I’m super serious. I always tell myself these things are coincidence or clever marketing, but when I try to avoid a piece of my life for years, mention a name *one* time, and have apparently urged a living being to interact in my life, I don’t know what to think.

There are big thinkers out there who say that humans live in a type of hologram where we create our reality through manifestation. This is a pretty wild idea, but big thinkers tend to take on some abstract concepts. I play with this idea as if tossing a ball from hand to hand, thinking of that scene from “Bruce Almighty” where Bruce answers everyone’s prayers with a “yes” and despite everyone getting their deepest wishes, the world isn’t the way anyone wants it to be. And if all my prayers and manifesting came to fruition, my life would not be as it is.

This is not to say that my life is not the way I want it to be, however, it is different than I’d ever expected. I am happy, and I sincerely believe it takes time and effort and a great attitude to have a generally happy day every day, but I’ve spent years wishing for possibilities outside of the grasp of hard work that probably won’t happen. And maybe it’s because I admit that at the end of the day I do not believe these things will happen, so they won’t, but if I spend my entire life hoping for an impossibility, I’ll live a less happy life. And I can’t make a reality for myself a truth for another person, if they don’t want it too.

So why did it matter that uttering the name has brought this person to life again? Why am I sitting here wondering what is going on in their head, when it’s possible that I was just a fleeting thought for them? My big question is, is questioning even worth a damn? Because that one glimpse made me feel as if I could change the world again, and I would, if it meant what I once hoped it did.